๑۩۞۩๑ ♡Shelter From The Storm♡ ๑۩۞۩๑

You might not believe this, but actually this computer right now i'm using is the only computer i can use write my Space at the entire campus!!!

For the past 10 days, i kept trying to write something...you know, keep updating myself...but it doesn't really work...

Even my own laptop connected to the university system doesn't work....the entry space sort of got blocked, so i can't type anything for my MSN space...Seriously, i was thinking maybe i should start using BEBO or using chinese space....

 

Right now, i'm confused....I can't just come to this computer everytime for it.....i don't know what to do in the future...

 

Well, i'm really busy recently..

 

Got Microbiology assignment due on 15th of May: Assess and discuss the evidence of periodontal disease linked to systemic conditions, like heart disease....4000 words...I haven't really started...

 

Got Oral Biology Assignment assignment due on 14th of May: How Floride contrbutes to the health of the teeth..Well, luckily this assignment due date was extended to 9th of July. What a miracle!!!

 

Got Physiology test 9th of May: i just started studying today.........there are 24+ lectures and 4+ lab sessions to study for.....very stressful..

 

Got Anatomy Cal test on 15th of May: respiratory system+digestive system...Recently i've been doing bad for my Anatomy test, my recent results are: 2.4/3, 2.6/3 abd 2.4/3.  Man, how am i supposed to get distinction with crappy marks like that?

 

Got Biomaterial test on 15th of May: we fail to get extension. Damn dent tech students. Why not 17th? It's one of the hardest test for second year dentistry.

 

Lastly, Preclinical dentistry and Basic dental surgery tests around 21st and 22nd of May.........Life is so busy.....

 

Allright, i have to go now.

 

Wish you guys all the best.

 

If we all work hard, our dreams will all be fulfilled.

 

Easter

 

Finally, a long break is coming up…I’m glad…

 

Why am I writing my blog? Because I was surprised that someone is actually reading it…

 

What’s my plan for the holiday? It’s so short really, you can’t possibly do much….

 

Um…after three clock lecture Thursday, I will be playing squash with Prettish, and go to City Col for tea. (I may go running tomorrow if I’m not too exhausted from today’s running.) then, study, I guess….until midnight….then, me and Jane will walk up to Aquinas again if she’s not going out tomorrow.

 

Friday, no work in the factory. I seriously need to catch up on my oral biology, biomaterial, preclinical dentistry, biochemistry, microbiology, anatomy, physiology and basic dental surgery.

 

I will be going to play basketball if the gym is opened on Friday afternoon….hope it will be…

 

Then study in the weekend and work next week. I won’t work in the factory for more than 20 hours though, because I don’t want to get less student allowances….

 

That’s it.

 

I’m sort of think that I’m lucky that the church camp is cancelled, because I really want to go but also I need to work….

 

I don’t know where my heart is going at the moment; I suppose it’s a good thing….

 

Like Lauren said, I should just be a pimp…

It has been a long time, i couldn't concentrate at all, but thinking about her...

 

I'm behind in a lot of papers and still if i can choose, i would choose to spend time with her instead of opening my books...

This is not right.......

 

But i think i really really like her, what can i do?

She's got a boyfriend, u idiot!

 

Give up now before u fell too deep.

I realised the great distance between us these days. 

 

and i think i'm giving up, gradually, bit by bit, day by day.

 

One day, she will just be a friend of mine. Study is the most important thing now.

Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery (MDS MBChB)

Training in Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery involves completion of the degrees of MDS (Otago) in Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery and MBChB (Otago) Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery in a conjoint course over five years. The programme is designed to provide an understanding of applied sciences; and the concept of oral and maxillofacial surgery: It also provides practical experience in all aspects of implant surgery, dental alveolar and oral and maxillofacial surgery.

Finally, the uni's library re-opened due to the commence of the summer school. It seems quite a few people had come back, which is a good sign, coz otherwise i will die soon as the enormous boredom been built in Dunedin.

Again, i could eventually connect my laptop onto the internet slot in the library, i can enjoy the loneliness on the first floor of the science library, maybe i should say, freedom. I could turn on the music, as loud as possible, and of course, i have to use head-sets....

Exhaled a deep-breath, I am still the old me....Ha ha. Nothing's changed.

 

Well, i didn't get into Medicine. Sad, isn't it? I kept asking myself, Mike, do you really want to become a doctor or not? And why, why do you want to become a doctor?

Money? Prestige? Or you simply wanted people to call you doctor? Or even simpler, because almost all the excellent students want to become a doctor, you want to compete with them, you want to beat them so badly that you changed your own goal without your notice?

So, what's good about Medicine? Other than prestige, money, fame and etc? I guess the only thing is that one can be fully contented with medical knowledge, so he can not just cure his patients, but also protect his own family from the annoyance of diseases. One can selflessly sacrifice oneself, and work 70 hrs for other people?

But, I am a poor guy, i can't even take care of myself yet, how can i take care of others? how can i not be selfish?

Money, doctors can earn up to $200/hr, sounds good, isn't it? If working 70 hrs on average for one week, a doctor can make 0.7 million one year.

Prestige, man, everyone calls you Doctor XXX, what could make you feel better than that? Lol.

As you know, Great power comes along with great responsibility. You are responsible for your patients' death. And i am a person who can't easily let go, maybe i am not meant to become a doctor........

 

Well, at least, i got into Dentistry. It's not too bad. Money is allright, slightly more than doctors once got out of the school. Prestige, fame? Nah, not any, aye. Everyone hates dentists, they probably want to 'say hello' (This is a chinese saying) to all my family members in my family tree when they glanced the bill i send to them.... Plus, i can't put prestige and fame to food, so, prestige and fame meant nothing to me. One of my very best friends told me that: Michael, you are a very MONEY-DRIVEN person. YOU ARE MONEY-ORIENTATED. Hell, yeah. I am!

Have you ever tried to spend less than 7 dollars on your grocery for one week? Eating plain bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner....

Have you ever had the experiences that someone who is close to you, come to your door, and ask the money you previously owed him, and you know you couldn't pay him back at the moment, and the whole thing just completely manipulated this person who USED to be closed to you. He became mad.

Have you ever dreamed to spend money on the people you loved so much that you could give everything to them. Especially when they want something so desperately, but your financial capability is so low that you can't afford anything they ask for, all you can do is to give them some promises that you probably never will be able to achieve.

Have you ever want something so badly yourself? But you know you have a much more important place to spend the little money in your pocket.

 

Is it wrong to be money-driven? is it bad to be money-orientated? My friend's answer is an absolute yes.

To me, i don't know. I don't feel bad. I just don't want to suffer as the poor, i just don't want to stand coldness and loneliness. I just want to be happy, be capable and be the one that everyone expects me to be. Is it wrong? Isn't money a very important factor?

 

What can make me happy? What do i want to be? I don't know, i don't have answers for these yet. I've only come to this world for almost 19 years, and i only been study for nearly 12 years and i've only been working full-time for 2 and half months. How would i know the answer for these questions, i don't even know myself!!!!!!!!!

 

I just know, i will step on all the better steps, i will live a better life every single day of my life, and i will, one day, fulfill all my promises that i've given to those people who meant a lot to me.

 

I want to swear, i want to say fucking hell, damn piece of shit. But i am trying my best to hold it, because i've seen my sub-supervisor who swears so much and i don't want to be like her, not even a little bit.

 

Well, i gonna be the top dental students. I will get some experiences and enter Medicine from the 4th year, and after 3 years of medicine training and 5 years of surgery training, hopefully i will become a Plastic surgeon. Then, I'm able to earn $2 million dollars a year, at least. And also i could give people their confidence that they have long lost. That's my long term goal, i will achieve it before i turned 40. By then, i could at the same time achieve heaps of my other long term goals. 

 

Lately, My dislike towards my new job grows bigger and bigger everyday. Especially towards those girls who have worked there for 3,4 years. They swear on average every 5 seconds and they are not very friendly to me. I would say, they are hostile to me. Everytime i would hold my temper and say hello to them, say morning and ask them how are you. I never had cared about their systematic answer, i looked them and tell myself, i will never like to be like them, and we are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

 

My sub-supervisor's favorite thing is to tell me off every 5 mins, in front of everyone, of course. Loudly, ususlly. It usually lasts for 2,3 mins, and if i am 'lucky', it could be 5 mins long. All i am doing while she is telling me off was to keep nodding, apologizing and tell her that i will never do it again.

Example one: this tuesday, i finished my job and got nothing to do. She then asked me to put some stickers on some boxes, like 10. I considered the amount of job and time relationship, i decided to do 30. While i was doing the 30th, she gave me another job. I was almost like begging her, i said: can i have another 30 seconds, please? I almost finished. She came over and started her Teaching: '#^$%%#^#, if i am asking to do 10, then you only do 10, do you understand me? What if we have a busier day? and then you can't finish those 30 boxes? what if we don't have enough places to fit in these 30 boxes?'

 

Example two: this thursday, we had two new people coming. I had given one of them a friendly suggestion and my goal was to finish the job we had as soon as possible, since we had so much to do. The supervisor gazed at me for the whole time instead of doing her job, then she asked me what i had said, then started her teaching again, she meant that all i said was completely unnecessary (equivalent to Rubbish), and i will confuse the new people, and that's exactly the opposite of what she meant ^%&$^&%*#*#, after five mins, it was eventually over. She looked at me like i was a prey to her. From her looking, she seems to be telling me that she is the only one who can tell people off.....but i didn't tell people off, i was only recommending them doing something which will make the whole thing faster........I didn't argue with her at all, i know that would worsen it and she will start swearing at me... I can't stand her spit.

After the lunch time, the manager got me aside and told me off again, it seemed like i had big fight with the supervisor...because the manager was telling me not to argue with the supervisor, listen to her at all time and do what she said. But, wait a sec, isn't that what i just did?

 

It's right, she's been to the factory for 3 or 4 years, but it's also true that she didn't finish the half of her high school, she's pregnant when she was only 18, she got so addicted to cigarettes that she got a bladder infection, she got drunk so often that not getting pissed on her 21th was an oddity, she went against her doctor's recommendation and got pissed as usual....I am not saying anything bad, or wrong with her, but i'm only telling facts....I never had looked down on her, i am just saying, WE ARE DIFFERENT.

 

Friday, My NEW CAR's horn somehow went off, the manager thought it was an alarm, and he smacked hard on my NEW CAR. He had given the birth of the first NZ DENT on my new car. He has sufficient reasoning behind him: i knew some car, if you smack hard on the car and the alarm will stop. DA? His famous line is: i didn't realise that was your car.

He looked at me and questioned me from his eyes, you want me to fix your car or give you full time job for the next 5 weeks? 5 weeks full time job is equivalent to almost $2400 before tax. I need this money.

 

Why, why can't i be wealthy enough that i can ask him to do what he should be doing? Again, is it wrong to be money-driven?

 

Friends kept telling me these are just LIFE-Experiences. Well, i've had enough of it! I am sick of it, too tired of it. Please stop.

 

After another 5 weeks, i would have enough money to go back to uni, go back to my hostel, without the help from my parents. well, just as what i had planned.....The only good thing, i guess.

 

Maybe my father is right, i need to LET GO. Let go of the DENT on my car, let go of all my sufferings, all my pains. Look towards the future. I won't ask everyone hurted me to pay their debt, because they can never afford it. But i will make them look! Look at me. Look at how successful i will be!

 

I will show them: I'm unique, i am special and i will be the best!